the poetics of space: nest

When feeling into what "nest" meant to me, I focused on the aspect of how light creates a centrepoint, a focus and an area of safety. Light pushes back darkness and all that's outside it's aura. Similar to circular birds nests, light gives the darkness a boundary to push against. It has protective and nurturing qualities. In these charcoal drawings, I explored candle light as a reflection of our ancient need to gather around fire as home and security.

At the beginning of this project, I experienced my usual doubt and uncertainty. Lots of ideas were discounted because of lack of confidence in my skills and ability to create them. This was frustrating but also revealing of my ability to persevere and find my authentic way into the project - to be who I am, to do what I can do and allow that to be enough.

I began by using images sourced from the internet. I clicked on many images and disregarded most quickly as they didn't capture the essence of light as boundary I was looking for. It felt like shopping in way... searching for the perfect thing to match the vision in my head. At times it was overwhelming - the limitlessness of the internet, the profusion of imagery so readily available was simultaneously a gift and a sad story of a world that values quantity over quality, where sheer scale of numbers can pretend to make up for emptiness. Once I'd collected multiple images I liked, I started drawing one at a time. I didn't print them out, just enlarged them so they filled my entire computer screen. Initially, I drew in an A4 sketchpad in a few different mediums but found myself feeling tense and perfectionistic. I then moved to an A3 sketchpad and did several more drawings. This felt better, more relaxed but still not quite big enough as I wanted to move my body. Finally, I taped some construction paper to the walls as my drawing surface. I knew this would be messy so I prepared the room with a large blanket on the floor, tissues and wet wipes and gathered my pencil, charcoal and eraser. I then put the computer on a chair beside it and knelt on a cushion to draw. This was awkward and uncomfortable but I felt so much freer working with a large surface. So, so, SO messy. I had to keep touching my laptop trackpad to wake up the computer whenever the image disappeared. There's charcoal all over my laptop, my screen, my chair, the floor, the walls, my hands, feet, my hair and all over my face. My partner is laughing at me but I don't care I'm having fun. A timeless experience. I got lost in pushing charcoal around the place. I'm not looking forward to cleaning this up. I hope it comes off the walls :P